'Triggers'
‘Triggers’! What are they? No! I can’t tell you. I’m not that good! I am just someone who has worked in the domestic abuse sector for 26 years and writes a blog! I want to know from YOU! Why? Because I get them and it wasn’t until recently that I realised that the feelings I sometimes get were triggers.
When I was having therapy during my cancer treatment this year, what was supposed to be therapy around having cancer, it turned into therapy around my experiences of domestic abuse and violence and how I dealt with them. Or more to the point - DIDN’T deal with them! I realised that feelings and emotions I had had for years when certain things happened in my life, were triggered by something or someone. Songs on the radio, things on the TV, something someone said or did. All triggers. But how do we deal with them? I want to know because this weekend there has been a few things happen which have ‘triggered’ me. And I feel crappy. I know all about breathing exercises and all the other things that are supposed to work but they don’t work for me!
I looked up the meaning of ‘triggered’. This is what it said…
A triggered reaction occurs when someone experiences a strong and uncomfortable emotional response to a stimulus that wouldn’t typically provoke such feelings. While triggered, individuals may panic, feel overwhelmed, cry, act out, withdraw or react defensively.
For example, a person with a history of trauma might be triggered by something that reminds them of their traumatic experience, causing them to feel like they’re reliving it. Triggers can also affect people with mental health conditions, exacerbating existing symptoms. These triggers can be internal, such as memories or emotions, or external, related to the environment or situations. It’s essential to recognize triggers and develop coping strategies to manage their impact on our well-being.
What are these coping strategies? That is what I want to know! Because the ones I know of don’t seem to be working too well for me! Why do I find myself saying I’m fine and I’m good to anyone that asks when actually, I’m not!!
I have said more than once that I write this blog AS MYSELF and with HONESTY. With my professional thoughts and my personal thoughts. I am not some super intelligent woman who goes through life without a care in the world. I am not brave! I am not strong. I am me, and I have problems too as a result of the abuse I experienced.
So I am throwing this question out there to you all.
How do you deal with your triggers? What coping strategies do you use that work?
If we can help each other by sharing what works for us, then surely that is a good thing? I’ve just thought of something I do when I feel bad. I write!
What do you do?
Thank you so much for your thoughts Newbie. I really do appreciate it.
Thank you for being so candid. You really are brave and strong, which doesn't diminish the struggles you've faced throughout your life. Its amazing how therapy uncovers what lies beneath our thoughts. I get triggered ALL the time, as the shock and fear of them is starting to lesson and the understanding of where the feelings were coming from, some ( very few) I can actually laugh about, becuase things are now making sense, the gaslighting hold is fading.
Hardest thing I've ever had to do and now practice...is sitting with your feelings, recognising it, observing it, letting is wash over you and out of you. Triggers could be a way of helping us work through and let go of all the horrors, making way/ space for the opposites, the good things.
Have courage, you're doing it anyway and you're doing better than you think. We all tend to be far too harsh on ourselves...got to be our own best friends too xxx