Very relatable Sharon. I completely understand the examples you’ve shared as if they were my own lived experiences. It is so upsetting to know so many women suffer in this way and their children too. Thank you for not giving up on raising awareness Sharon!
I hope that you read work by Emma Katz. As a victim it's so important that society educates themselves. If we had support and understanding for family and friends we would have a much better chance of reducing suicide.
One of the main ways our abusers work is to isolate us from every support network in our world. They lie and manipulate our world around us .
I like it to having bites of my flesh stopped off me.i. Between his abuse it could start to heal. But was never fully replaced. Until eventually I had no meat left on my bones to survive.
If we don't bleed we aren't hurting. How wrong can society, family and friends be.
Because with coercieve control we don't show signs of physical harm nobody acts to support us. So we slowly die from the inside out. Until the pain inside is so great, because we are powerless to escape we are forced to end our own lives to ease the unending suffering.
We are normal women. Wanting to be loved and cared for. We also want to LIVE. How many young women if diagnosed with cancer would chose to die? They would chose to live. Wanting to die is an extreme but normal response to unending suffering imposed on us by coercieve controllers.
The suicides of abuse victims are now being investigated as homicides. But how can they be investigated and go to court if all those professionals and jury's continue to believe that coercieve control does not kill.
But the suicides are just the tip of the ice berg.
What has society done to the women who were suicidal but survived ? What happened did the medical profession do to those women before they took their lives? How has society failed to protectand care for us?
We focus too much on the failings of police/ social workers.
What is not discussed is how psychiatrics become our abusers enablers. This is the most underdiscussed, hidden issue in domestic abuse.
Medics do not protect us. As I found out family friends and professionals failed to support and protect me. And as has happened to women throughout time society worsens our situation.
Our appropriate feelings of powerless and suicidality are easy to treat. The answers are simple Listen, remove and protect us. Prosecute our persecutor.
But society has not changed it's attitude towards women in abusive relationships. I ran away.
I trusted family and psychiatrists. And in their wisdom they sent me back to him. He threatened that I'd never see the kids if I left him.
No surprise I became suicidal. No escape no hope.
Societies answer to that was to feel sorry for my husband. Incarcerate me on a psychiatric ward. Ignore my pleas . Kept me living with him. Told me living with him was best. They Drugged me to the eye balls and give me electric shock therapy. They left me severely brain damaged and disabled for life.
I did eventually get away.
But post separation abuse continued. ..... completely misunderstood by society and family. But that's another story in itself.
But I have a life sentence of brain damage and my abuser gets away with nothing.
But he got to weaponise my supposed " mental health problems" and used it against me time and time again.
I have never felt suicidal or needed any psychiatric support since leaving him
It's taken 20 years for my doctor's to understand. For them to put domestic abuse victim on my notes and to have my supposed mental health diagnosis removed. That in itself is a huge relief.
Psychological suffering from coercieve abuse is not a mental illness.
No amount of torture by drugs or elevtroconvulsive therapy or incarceration in wards Will make women safe, stop us wanting to die.
If deaths are to be prevented psychiatrists should act like A and E doctors and any woman suffering coercieve control should have a domestic abuse support teams brought in immediately.
A woman should be removed from the abuse and protected before being locked up and medicines and electrical torture used.
Psychiatric treatment of coercieve abuse is a prolongation of the abuse we have suffered and doctors are adding to the harm done to Us by our abusers.
It is truly shocking that in 2025 that psychiatric wards are still effectively an extension of our abusers to silence their women.
So I ask that not only do we remember those women and girls who were forced into taking their lives. But I ask that we think about those women sitting on psychiatric wards in the UK today. Shamed and blamed by doctors, family and friends. Unable to leave. Drugged up to the eye balls, some of whom may be heading down the the ECT suite in the morning to suffer brain damage at the hands of psychiatrists.
Everyday for 2 years my husband made me want to die.
He wanted me to die. But he didn't want blood on his hands.
He wanted me to die because I ran away. Punishment.
He gave me 3 choices. Leave without the kids. Stay in the hell or die.
He loved the cudos of being the " caring husband looking after his mentally incarcerated wife". Yet nobody saw behind scenes his cruelty.
I came close so many times.
But I am lucky I escaped.
I am not weak. I am strong.
Those who are forced to take there lives are hugely strong. I could not do it I wasn't strong enough to end my suffering. They are not weak but they were broken and beaten. with no hope. No chance of escape. Let down by everyone they turned to.
Murder with a knife is a violent stab.
Death by suicide from coercieve abuse is a slow painful long drawn out death over months and years. Its death by 1000 cuts.
Very relatable Sharon. I completely understand the examples you’ve shared as if they were my own lived experiences. It is so upsetting to know so many women suffer in this way and their children too. Thank you for not giving up on raising awareness Sharon!
I hope that you read work by Emma Katz. As a victim it's so important that society educates themselves. If we had support and understanding for family and friends we would have a much better chance of reducing suicide.
One of the main ways our abusers work is to isolate us from every support network in our world. They lie and manipulate our world around us .
I like it to having bites of my flesh stopped off me.i. Between his abuse it could start to heal. But was never fully replaced. Until eventually I had no meat left on my bones to survive.
If we don't bleed we aren't hurting. How wrong can society, family and friends be.
Because with coercieve control we don't show signs of physical harm nobody acts to support us. So we slowly die from the inside out. Until the pain inside is so great, because we are powerless to escape we are forced to end our own lives to ease the unending suffering.
We are normal women. Wanting to be loved and cared for. We also want to LIVE. How many young women if diagnosed with cancer would chose to die? They would chose to live. Wanting to die is an extreme but normal response to unending suffering imposed on us by coercieve controllers.
The suicides of abuse victims are now being investigated as homicides. But how can they be investigated and go to court if all those professionals and jury's continue to believe that coercieve control does not kill.
But the suicides are just the tip of the ice berg.
What has society done to the women who were suicidal but survived ? What happened did the medical profession do to those women before they took their lives? How has society failed to protectand care for us?
We focus too much on the failings of police/ social workers.
What is not discussed is how psychiatrics become our abusers enablers. This is the most underdiscussed, hidden issue in domestic abuse.
Medics do not protect us. As I found out family friends and professionals failed to support and protect me. And as has happened to women throughout time society worsens our situation.
Our appropriate feelings of powerless and suicidality are easy to treat. The answers are simple Listen, remove and protect us. Prosecute our persecutor.
But society has not changed it's attitude towards women in abusive relationships. I ran away.
I trusted family and psychiatrists. And in their wisdom they sent me back to him. He threatened that I'd never see the kids if I left him.
No surprise I became suicidal. No escape no hope.
Societies answer to that was to feel sorry for my husband. Incarcerate me on a psychiatric ward. Ignore my pleas . Kept me living with him. Told me living with him was best. They Drugged me to the eye balls and give me electric shock therapy. They left me severely brain damaged and disabled for life.
I did eventually get away.
But post separation abuse continued. ..... completely misunderstood by society and family. But that's another story in itself.
But I have a life sentence of brain damage and my abuser gets away with nothing.
But he got to weaponise my supposed " mental health problems" and used it against me time and time again.
I have never felt suicidal or needed any psychiatric support since leaving him
It's taken 20 years for my doctor's to understand. For them to put domestic abuse victim on my notes and to have my supposed mental health diagnosis removed. That in itself is a huge relief.
Psychological suffering from coercieve abuse is not a mental illness.
No amount of torture by drugs or elevtroconvulsive therapy or incarceration in wards Will make women safe, stop us wanting to die.
If deaths are to be prevented psychiatrists should act like A and E doctors and any woman suffering coercieve control should have a domestic abuse support teams brought in immediately.
A woman should be removed from the abuse and protected before being locked up and medicines and electrical torture used.
Psychiatric treatment of coercieve abuse is a prolongation of the abuse we have suffered and doctors are adding to the harm done to Us by our abusers.
It is truly shocking that in 2025 that psychiatric wards are still effectively an extension of our abusers to silence their women.
So I ask that not only do we remember those women and girls who were forced into taking their lives. But I ask that we think about those women sitting on psychiatric wards in the UK today. Shamed and blamed by doctors, family and friends. Unable to leave. Drugged up to the eye balls, some of whom may be heading down the the ECT suite in the morning to suffer brain damage at the hands of psychiatrists.
Everyday for 2 years my husband made me want to die.
He wanted me to die. But he didn't want blood on his hands.
He wanted me to die because I ran away. Punishment.
He gave me 3 choices. Leave without the kids. Stay in the hell or die.
He loved the cudos of being the " caring husband looking after his mentally incarcerated wife". Yet nobody saw behind scenes his cruelty.
I came close so many times.
But I am lucky I escaped.
I am not weak. I am strong.
Those who are forced to take there lives are hugely strong. I could not do it I wasn't strong enough to end my suffering. They are not weak but they were broken and beaten. with no hope. No chance of escape. Let down by everyone they turned to.
Murder with a knife is a violent stab.
Death by suicide from coercieve abuse is a slow painful long drawn out death over months and years. Its death by 1000 cuts.